Before the Door: Professional vs Amateur

examining the root definitions of amateur and profession (or professional) reveals the irrececoncilable disparity between the two; or at least what seems beyond connection. i deem to ask why. why can't there be both appreciation and affirmation in one's career? i know what you're thinking, "poor man's stuck in a bad job," but that's not it at all, i really enjoy my job as an amateur (emphasis added) and avoid professional conversion, because it is the land of no return. along with this, i can amateur in several things simultaneously, namely photography, anthologized literature, writing poetry, cultural criticism. yet the ministry i'm involved in prompts me to have professional, infectious, flamboyant faith: the kind of expert faith that sells. but i am an amateur Christian (and by no means a professional Christian), which affects my entire life whether as an amateur boyfriend, an amateur movie critic, an amateur fanatic, an amateur servant of the needy, an amateur etc...

amateur takes root in the Latin, amator, "lover, devoted friend, devotee, enthusiastic pursuer of an objective", while it's most basic history is found in the Latin amare "to love" and there are different connotations and denotations, such as "one lacking a skill as a professional, as in an art; dilettante, dabbler". Bobby Jones spoke rightly when he concluded that he would never become a professional for the quest of livelihood (money) would taint his love of the sport, and that professionalism, in general, would damage the richness available in a love for sport. just turn on the television to an NBA game and you will see what i mean.

but let's not absolutely disqualify 'the professional' before affixing it's root to the discussion. the Middle English professen, "to take vows" originates from the Latin professus, past participle of profiteri, "to affirm openly", which demonstrates the modern meaning of professional; "a skilled practicioner; an expert; one who earns a living; an implied occupation. whereas the word within the word, profess means "to affirm openly; declare or claim almost religious in nature. yet there seems to be no connoted relationship between the religious or pious nuance of profess and the current use of prefession/profesional, which really doesn't bolster the case for prefessionalism.

thus the disparity: love vs. skill; passion vs. knowledge; and life vs. living--or the making of it (though i do not mean to create discrepency, only highlight its existance).

when i worked at the photo shop in Columbia Place Mall, i used to say, "we're all trained professionals" as a means to assuage any worries customers had about their prints or products. but why should they find solace from that? when what i am essentially saying is, "we allege to be self-admitted experts, trying to make a buck." the state director for my ministry has been admonishing me to become a professional minister, yet i am unsure as to my expertise, and am all-too-sure of my inadequacies. i love the Lord and don't intend on making a pie chart of his characteristics (which many have already tried, asserting themselves as 'professional believers' just before spiritually burning out); for He said, "I will again do wonderful things with this people, with wonder upon wonder; and the wisdom of their wise men shall perish, and the discernment of their discerning men shall be hidden" (Isaiah 29:14). it sounds like the professional loses all in all, and the God of Inversion wins out with His inexperienced, bohemian lovers, full of wonder and lacking no good thing. (please don't think i'm saying by this that professionals all go to hell--i'm just observing how God likes to use the unprofessionals to do unbelievable things for him)

still i'm torn between what i am being paid to become--a professional, and what i am content to remain, forever and always--an amateur. (photo by: Elizabeth Dozier Steedly)