Dear Nearly: Part 3 "A Sighty"

when i say "a sighty" that may be miss leading. it was more a mysterious enlightenment. i wasn't going to write you again, but when this came to me, i thought to myself, "if i pass this up, then i will have come close to writing Nearly, and will have not done it; precisely what i am trying to avoid (if you get what i'm saying). Back to the sighty. it matured and shriveled: it grew and waned: and then it left me terribly frustrated. at first, i thought this was your doing, but i realized it was mine. Nearly, for so long, i've come close to that which i greatly desire, but since i've pushed you away, i seem to be unintentionally avoiding the fulfillment of that desire; the proper recognition of preperation and focus. the sighty, Nearly, blinded me and left me wondering, "at the absense of Nearly, i have taken on his characteristics to help me deal with Reality." i said this to myself, i did! but i never thought you were entirely seperate from Reality, more like distant cousins, but now that you are gone, Reality feels all too real. Nearly, the sighty was a reveleation of thought, and i'm still figuring things out. but i know my feelings beyond a shadow of a doubt, if becoming you feels this uncomfortable, then i'm more sure than ever that i'll continue to keep my distance... (photo by: Tatsuya Sato)