Dear Nearly: Part 4 "Paranoia"

this time it was different. not entirely different, but the suspence certainly added to the disturbing sense of your presence. as if i ran from you, i drove expediently down the highway toward the wilderness. because i'm not willing to say, "Nearly, i went on a backpacking trip to the mountains of northwest South Carolina." at about the time that i finished talking to myself, i realized that you've become an unappreciated profanity in American use! it's almost as if you've become a byword in all civilized society. vernacular seems to have a better hold on you, than you on the people who abuse your name excessively. or maybe that vernacular has a hold on them... nevertheless, you're at the bottom of whatever power pyramid it may be. then i turned around, because i grasped that you prevail only if i permit my perspective to linger in the "thought" that i missed something. if i were to say, "Nearly, i hiked Chatooga Trail of Okonee County," or, "Nearly, i placed my foot upon three states at once at Eticott Rock," or "Nearly, i saw the mountains whispering with early morning grog," then i'd admit your prominence. instead i'll say, "i was sure to attend a Board Meeting Banquet," and "i treated my lovely girlfriend to a magical evening" and also, "Elizabeth and i discussed matters of pressing relevance in our relationship." i win! i'm victorious; not because of cunning preperation (you most definatley have the upperhand here), but because of wit. when it's all said and done, my "saying" excludes what would otherwise deliver chagrin (your presence), passing a possibility by the face to embrace another one; which is no less a fulfillment of what is done... (photo by: Elizabeth Dozier Steedly)