from my moleskine: the next morning i forgot

i was disturbed from slumber last night by a fairy muse with a ball point head, a Bic-shaped body, and a shredded plastic pen cap that fanned wildly to act as manufactured fairy wings. she whispered something in my groggy ears and by the time that i had begun to grasp her droning words, she vanished into pixy air. despite the effervescent nature of our meeting, once i had slowly realized her disappearance, i longed to have deciphered her words.

the next morning i forgot almost everything. and as a friend and i traveled to a book club to watch a movie, i, a native of Columbia for over sixteen years, led us off-course. people lose themselves, others; and together steer hopelessly, needlessly, aimlessly. what are we doing? passed through my mind several times, while my rookie friend thought, what are we doing? the space of the Olds became filled with limpid question marks, moving like phantoms amidst nooks and crannies, under the dashboard, around head rests, and through the vents. They asked: what did they intend to do? can they hear us? why are they squandering petroleum? how late is too late to get somewhere? is my hair okay? when will they realize how lost they are? sometime after the questions marks had begun interogating i began to hear them, and i can't quite recall what was initially said, because all i remember is white noise. it is together that we know how lost we've become. we encounter the intensely inane nature of the situation, with a deafening aftertaste of boredom.

apart from that, we drove back to my friends car, where I dropped him off and apologized profusely, but it didn't change my embarassed state, nor does it improve what was experienced. nevertheless, he was kind and I was kind, and we met at a place called Consideration. we were able to remedy our disappointment in each other. looking inside myself and looking inside my friend simultaneously, disclosed the great expanse that remains between friends, yet is exposable. this expostulation is granted by God to turn us loose from self and others, and free in him. we discover our true fulfillment and restoration in the arms of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. discovering also the inane, unanswered questions haply situated somewhere in an eternal house with many rooms.